The moment you realize that you no longer feel the need to be in love with someone anymore to feel whole, it is quite liberating actually. It flushes your mind of all the bad relationships and the memories that have anchored themselves to your heart and soul for too many years, they finally break free and float away.
All those times you looked in the mirror judging yourself because of how others treated you, you lost sight of the beauty you have within you. Finally realizing that the only person you should be in love with is you yourself. And then that magical epiphany occurs, and you see the most gorgeous person inside and out staring back at you from that mirror.
I think our need to have someone fall in love with us starts at a young age. At least in my own experience, that seems to be the case. When there are people in your life who are supposed to love you unconditionally, but instead seem to find enjoyment in breaking your spirit, you tend to measure your worth on how others love you for the rest of your life, or at least until you start loving yourself again.
Let me be honest, I cannot with good conscience say I will never fall in love again. If we could predict things, our future life would be too simple. I enjoy the connections I have — they are fantastically fun, free-spirited, caring, and most of all, we respect one another, but we are not in love.
I thoroughly enjoy my sex life though, it’s quite gratifying and uncomplicated. Those are two very significant factors that I have come to make a priority. When you find someone else who is perfectly happy with that arrangement, it’s almost poetic.
Yes, I admit that in some cases you need to make a judgment call on whether you’re willing to risk this friendship by adding sex into the mix, but there is always that incredible chance of meeting someone. This no-strings-attached friendship just blossoms and it only makes your friendship bond stronger. Impossible, you say? Absolutely not, I’m living proof.
The one thing we all, women and men alike, need to remember is that people will only love you as much as you love yourself. That includes taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. You can’t expect someone to respect your vessel if you abuse it, be that with drugs, alcohol, overeating, under-eating, etc. Strive to be happy everyday. I know it’s a struggle sometimes, but just as misery loves company, happy loves happy!
I am truly happy! I love and respect myself first, I know I have to in order to love and respect others. I can look in the mirror and smile because I know just how far I’ve come and have no intentions going back.
At forty something, I’m blissfully single and still have a great sex life, there’s a lot to be said for that! And kudos to those of you who are in a committed relationship and are madly in love, because I know you truly love yourselves, and know that it is that self-love that makes your relationship so strong!
So I just want to end with this, it’s short and simple and to the point. It is my most favorite saying of all-time: Life only comes around once, so do whatever makes you happy, and be with whoever makes you smile!
Julie Casey hails from the midwestern city of Bloomington, Illinois. She is the youngest of eight children, who is also a devoted mother and grandmother. She has been writing poetry for nearly four decades. Recently she has also begun to delve into the erotica genre of her creative outlet, and with that transition, had the good fortune of having some of her pieces published with Little Raven Publishing. With the support of fellow writers, along with family and friends, she has finally made the courageous leap to share her poetry and creative writing with the rest of the world.